Do you feel no matter how hard you aim for achieving your goals somehow you fail to hit the mark?
You know what you need to do but just don’t seem to be able to do it or you get so far and then sabotage your efforts and don’t quite understand how or why?
Hi, I’m Bernice Fitzgibbon and I have been there many times.
It wasn’t that I didn’t have all the information to achieve my goals and I certainly had the desire.
However, each time I would get close something would go wrong or I would make a decision that deep down I knew wasn’t right. Because I didn’t have the confidence in myself I allowed myself to be swayed by the so-called experts and always to my determent.
So here I am at the airport at 58 years of age with my partner, 4 suitcases and $5000 dollar about to start all over again in another country. We had lost everything, our home, our business, our investment properties and were in debt for $50k. Neither of us had any prospects of work and had to stay with my daughter because we couldn’t afford to rent.
I osculated from feeling completely numb and in shock to angry, fear, shame, guilt and grief. I played the blame game because I just couldn’t bear to take any responsibility for where I found myself. Anxiety and depression where my closes friends and I withdrew from my family into my own sad world. Now as I stated this wasn’t the first time I had found myself in a similar position however I had never been without a home or income.
Could things get worse? Oh hell yes!
Just as we were getting back on our feet again I found myself having difficulty gripping things or squeezing the eye drops we used in my job. I then noticed I was having difficulty running, my go to for stress relief. I started tripping over and finding my legs weren’t reacting to my commands. I was sent to a neurologist who did tests and found I had an auto immune condition which was destroying the myelin sheaths around the nerves supplying my legs, arms, hands and feet. So now I have lost the ability to run and to do my job. I don’t know about you, but when you have always identified your self-worth to what you can do, or have, this was the final blow.
Now You may have heard stories of people who had some serious illness or were paralysed and became well again saying although they had lost their physical capabilities they hadn’t lost their ability to use their mind. I always seemed so cliché but that is where I found myself. I am a very strong-minded person and to think of giving up isn’t in my DNA even if making the same mistakes over and over again, appeared to be. Whenever times got touch in the past I always got back up again.
Why would I change now?
After my first lot of treatment, I had gained back most of the sensation and movement in my arms and legs and as I continued to have treatment once every 3 weeks at first then monthly I was back to full functioning. Apparently, this wasn’t the norm but because of my positive attitude and level of fitness they believe this is why it has been so successful.
I am not someone who gives up as I have already said, but as a nurse I see so many people do just that and this saddened me. If you are drawing breathe you can change your life.
During the time when I was unable to work I decided to put the time to studying and retraining so I could better understand how I could use my mind to change my life and get off this constant success then sabotage, success-sabotage wheel I was on. Then by doing this use the knowledge and skills I acquired to help others do the same.
I became an Accredited Inspired Spirit Life Coach, Certified Hypnotherapist and completed a Brain Science and Wellness Program through the Neuroscience Academy all to better understand how our brain works and how this knowledge can help us to improve our lives.