I don’t know about you, but I am so use to things not going my way or what I perceive as not going the way I want it, that I protect myself by ruining it before it gets ruined by others. Known as sabotage, for some unconscious reason, I do something to prevent me from reaching my desired outcome but then justify it via mindful means. Simply put, I screw up my success without even realizing it. I have at one time or another managed to work through all areas of my life in this fashion but especially where my health and well-being is concerned.
Does this sound familiar? If you are too hard on yourself and your own success as it concerns health or otherwise, read on to find out how you can stop, and treat yourself how you deserve to be treated.
Be objective. Take a step back and look at what’s happening in your life from a stranger’s point of view. You can even start a journal and write down. Most of us live in the subjective mindset which means it is charged with emotion probably from past negative experiences and beliefs.
As Atticus Finch in “To Kill a Mockingbird” said
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
So, to see something from a different point of view this is what you must do.
Embrace imperfections. Getting feedback and critique is probably the last thing you want, but a great chance to improve your health, realize what you’re doing wrong. Often, you’ll find that the feedback was actually helpful, but only if you don’t take it too personally, or over think everything a tendency I have!
Don’t be gullible. The grass that’s much greener on the other side of the fence is that way because of the hard work that went into it. What you envision success to be, whether it’s losing 20 pounds or being filthy rich, our thinking process doesn’t take into account all the hard work that goes into it. Be realistic about your health goals and break them down into mini-goals. They can be daily or weekly – it’s up to you. Write down every step you need to take in order to get there, and don’t leave out the times when you fail to reach one of them. Trust in the process, and more importantly, in yourself.
Stop Justifying. Don’t justify your poor choices by assigning them to others. For example, a mother may say that she is putting her kids’ well-being before her own when she doesn’t take the time to eat right or exercise. Or a father thinks that by working all the time and not taking the time to take care of his health, then it’s for the sake of his family. The truth is, this behavior is the exact opposite and a great example of the subconscious mind at work sabotaging your conscious efforts then justifying it with the conscious mind.
Trust your perspective. As we grow, we’re bombarded with comments about ourselves, and it’s the negative ones that stick with us the most. The problem here is that it can be difficult to break free from these comments. We accept them as our reality and this in turn influences every decision we make. In addition, they can be ordinary, run-of-the-mill comments that someone made without giving it a second thought, but to us, it dominates our waking hours and dictates our life decisions. It’s important to give these comments a break and be stronger than the effect they have on you, so you can live life to the fullest.
Go easy on yourself. It’s no big deal if you feel uncomfortable in a certain situation, or if you’re not completely certain what to do. Take a deep breath, realize that every single person experience uncertainty and fear occasionally, and still go ahead and take the plunge – what’s the worst that can happen? I’ll tell you. It’s one of two things: you’ll either fail miserably, which will be somewhat embarrassing, but won’t be the end of the world, you’ll stand back up, take another deep breath, learn from your mistakes and try again. Or, you’ll succeed, and you’ll be proud of your accomplishments, and move on to the next task with courage.
The same goes for your health, whether it is losing weight, giving up smoking or some other habit that no longer serves you. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip up, it happens, none of us are perfect! It serves no purpose going down the guilt road and can be detrimental. Just keep moving forward. Always celebrate your victories they are what keep you going.
Be brave. Bolstering your confidence takes practice and time. Take the time to research and ask questions, get support, plan your steps and ensure you have all the tools and support you need to be successful.
Punch low self-esteem in the face. When you’re not as trusting in your abilities as you should be, that prevents you from achieving the most you can. People with low self-esteem always have ready on-hand excuses for why they’re not good enough or why they can’t do this or that. Fear of failure is normal, it’s the “not trying” part that makes you miss out on life.
Take the time to put yourself before others; it’ll make a healthier, more balanced person. You’ll quickly discover that you have more time and energy to do the things you have to do in your life, whether its your health or some other area of your life nothing exists in isolation. If one area of your life is out it will affect the others.