I doubt you would give up your most prized possessions to a complete stranger or even a friend or family member, but every day you give up your power when you allow someone to decide your future, your worth, or your state of mind.

If you have let someone decide what is right for you, or listened while they put you down, or allowed a person or situation decide your mood then you are giving away your power.

If you need to look for validation that you are okay then you have lost perspective on how wonderful you really are.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

 -Alice Walker

So what does it mean to give away your power?

Here are a list 7 things that are an indication you are “giving away your power.”

A need to prove you are worthy

This is when you constantly try and please others, perfecting, pretending to be someone you are not or proving yourself.  Examples of this are when you go out of your way to do something for someone just to get their approval because you don’t believe you are worthy of the love, and attention just the way you are. You spend forever getting things right.

You say you are fine when you aren’t and then you go about proving just how fine and capable you are again by going overboard on the people pleasing and getting everything perfect.

Not accepting or believing in yourself

 So if you put other people’s opinions before your own.  It’s okay to ask for advice but then you need to make up your own mind and not be swayed by others if it isn’t right for you just because you think they know better than you.

An example of this was when I was swayed to buy a property that went against all my rules for buying.  It wanted a doer-upper and flick on but instead I bought a property at auction for far more than I should.

It didn’t tick any of my boxes but because the real estate guy said it was a great buy I couldn’t go wrong I listened because he was the expert.

This property sold for less than I paid after doing it up.  This wasn’t the first time I had done this sort of thing but when I went with what I believed was right I was very rarely wrong.

Allowing toxic, relationships

 We all have those people in our lives that don’t bring out the best in us or worst still drain every bit of life out of us.

They can be anyone from family member, friend, colleague, anyone that doesn’t support you or who criticizes, belittles you, is negative.

If you allow this behaviour you are giving them space in your life that could be taken up by someone who is better suited to be there.  You are saying you are not worth being treated well or having positive supportive people in your life.  That is giving away your power.

Allowing Manipulation

This one I know well.  It is when you allow someone to manipulate you to get what they want.  It can be by aggression, put downs and belittling you, withholding their attention or affection or the guilt game, even flattery can be a form of manipulation if it is used to get their own way.   Any time you fail to stand up to them or make excuses for their behaviour you are giving away your power.

“Never give your power to another person”

-Oprah Winfrey

Allowing Your Inner Critic to Make Decision

If you are listening to your inner critic and allowing it to make decisions for you, you are giving away your power.

You know the one that says “you’re not good at that,” or “they won’t like me.”  It stops you from moving forward and paralyses you from making any worthwhile decisions about your future.  You remain stuck where you are.

Not Taking Action

This is when you have dreams and goals you want to fulfil but that is how they remain.  You make excuses why you can’t achieve them so you don’t have to put yourself outside your comfort zone.

It’s the “what if”…….. You are letting yourself down and giving away your power to fear by not taking action and being responsible for your life.

Being a Doormat

Sounds awful but it is when you are so passive that everyone walks all over you because you don’t set boundaries.

Don’t get me wrong being a passive person is okay some people are naturally that way.  It is when you are being wronged and you do nothing to stand up for yourself and your needs.

This shows a lack of confidence which others will play on. This is giving away your power.

The blame Game

This is when you don’t take responsibility for your own actions or lack of.  It is always someone, or something outside of you that is to blame.  This is a big power stealer.  You have just given up your power to change what is happening.  My father was very good at this as are so many people.  It is only by taking back your power that you can create change.

“When you blame others you give up your power to change.”

-Robert Anthony

To give away your power, you are giving away your ability to create your own reality. It is your gift to yourself and resides inside of you.

Why would you give someone else the power to decide your reality?  It doesn’t make sense.  You deserve better than that, so take charge and use your power to create a beautiful life for yourself and those around you.  You will thank yourself and others will thank you.

There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who stands strong and confident in her own power.